What would Albert do?
A self help section for all our fans.

Dear Albert,
My girlfriend has this rash. Do you think it's still ok for her to pleasure my dog while I watch?
Curious in Alberta

AB: I would be very cautious at his point. Your girlfriend may have developed a rash from your dog's saliva. I would give it a few days, and then business as usual.

PM: While I agree with Albert, I am curious if you had considered allowing your girlfriend to pleasure your cat and/or ferret. The ph balance of the saliva of these two animals is considerably lower then most canines. I think this would allow for some excellent floor shows and the rest your beloved so desperatly needs.

Phat: Hey Hey Hey!

Alberticus: I once had a similar problem with my dog Scout. You might want to try some baby powder. It's always worked for me.

Do you have a bizarre and/or made up problem you would like Alberts help with?
If so e-mail it to us at wwad@ihatealbert.com